Tease Me Page 14

  Why the hell was he torturing himself? Why didn’t he just see the problem with Minerva through, kiss Lillian good-bye, and take the next plane back to Seattle, where there were probably dozens of women who wouldn’t fight off his attentions?

  Because, his little voice responded matter-of-factly, there was only one woman’s attention he wanted and she was not in Seattle. No, he thought grumpily, she’s two feet in front of me, but at least a million miles out of my reach. And his little voice was right. Nothing and no one could have made him get up and leave.

  Falling in love was hell.

  “Two copies. Okay,” he said evenly.

  She eyed him warily. “Okay? Just okay?”

  Tucker fought not to crush the papers in his hands. “Meaning ‘Okay, I’m willing to do this your way,’ ” he said slowly through clenched teeth as his control eroded. “But only because if I do it the way I want to, I risk watching you run away again. And the only direction I want you running in right now is toward me. So, okay, we do this your way, slow and easy.” His gaze wandered down her body and back up again. He had to lock his knees together when he saw her nipples pressing hard against the soft cotton of her dress. His voice when he spoke again was barely more than a growl. “Because my way would be hard and fast and forever. And I don’t think you’re ready for that last part. Yet.”

  She reached behind her blindly and clutched the copier machine for support. He watched with rapt fascination when her throat worked once then again, and almost lost it completely when he looked back at her face and found her staring at his very obvious reaction to her reaction.

  He made no attempt to shift, though he would have given anything to rip his pants off all together and assuage the ache that was now bordering on physical pain. “You do that to me with a smile, Lainey.” There was no mistaking that she understood what “that” was. “Hell, you don’t even have to be in the room. Thinking about your smile does that to me.”

  She dragged her gaze to his, a beautiful flush darkening her skin. “Tucker—”

  “But making me hard isn’t what this is all about,” he continued forcefully. “If we’re talking stimulation, then I wish we were built so that you could see what you do to my mind. You want to talk aroused, Lainey? You want to talk hot, hungry, and out of control? You should be inside my head right now. Because it’s what’s up here”—he tapped his forehead—“that makes what’s down there so damn intense, I can barely sit still.”

  She released a rough sigh, then dragged in an audible breath. “So … I’m supposed to want you for your mind, is that it, Tucker?”

  “I want you to want me with yours,” he responded. He nodded at her dress. “I can see that you want me with your body.” She stiffened but didn’t look away or move. He silently applauded her. “At any other time in my life that would have been enough. Hell, more than enough.”

  “But not now.” She made it a statement.

  He shook his head. “Now I want more. And that means waiting for you to figure out what you want and why you want it. You have to be sure, because I’m damn well not going to be added to that stupid list of yours.”

  “You’re angry.”

  He shook his head, striving to maintain what little patience he had left, with himself more than her. “Impatient is more like it. If I want something, I figure out how to get it and go after it. It’s what made my business so successful.”

  “I’m not a business acquisition.”

  “I’m well aware of that. But this is new to me, too, Lainey. I sold my business because I wanted a new life, one that wasn’t strictly business. But the only handbook I have is the one that got me here in the first place. I don’t know how to do things differently. But I’m trying.”

  She lifted an eyebrow.

  He bit off a sigh, then smiled sheepishly. “I said I was trying. Actual achieving it will apparently take a bit longer.”

  Her smile was brief. She opened her mouth to speak, then apparently changed her mind and shut it again.

  “What?” he asked. When she didn’t respond, he prodded. “Tell me.”

  She watched him silently for a moment, then shrugged lightly. “How can you be so sure?” She folded her hands loosely in front of her, twining and untwining her fingers. “Of what you feel, I mean. What if you’re making a mistake?”

  She was quite serious, and he took a moment before replying. “I’m not sure I can explain the first part. Instinct? I know I want you, and I know I’m feeling something I’ve never felt before. It’s exciting and frustrating and more powerful than any emotion I’ve had for anyone.”

  She dipped her chin in a half nod. “Go on.” The words were little more than a rough plea, and he pushed on before she decided she didn’t want to hear his answer after all.

  “My instinct says go after it, don’t let something this unique slip away without doing everything you can to explore it. I follow that instinct because I trust it. I mean, you have to trust yourself that way or what else do you have?”

  “Now you understand my dilemma,” she said softly.

  He knew exactly what she meant, but he didn’t agree. “That’s because you’re too caught up in the second part. The part about making mistakes. No one leads a perfect life filled with perfect decisions. It doesn’t mean you stop pursuing what you think is important, even if you have nothing more to base that decision on than that it felt right at the moment.”

  “And if you get hurt? What, you shrug it off?” She straightened away from the copier. “You say the feelings you have for me are totally new. You can’t rely on past experience then, so what do you have left? Instincts telling you to go for it. And you trust them. Why? Because you do have the past experience of knowing that the things you’ve wanted, or felt strongly about, have proven to be worthy of pursuit. So your instinct is nurtured.” She folded her arms again. “It’s easy to sit there and say you shouldn’t let the fear of making mistakes rule your decisions when you don’t make many mistakes.”

  “I make mistakes.”

  She shook her head. “In business maybe. That’s not the kind I’m talking about.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “The kind where your heart is involved.”

  “How can you be so sure my heart wasn’t involved?”

  “Because you would have had these ‘unique’ feelings before if that were the case.”

  She had him there. She’d also punched another large hole in his defenses. He didn’t like thinking she’d had those “unique” feelings for someone other than him. Someone who hadn’t been worthy of that gift, someone who had hurt her.

  “The reason you trust your instincts is because they’ve led you to make choices with positive outcomes,” she went on. “What happens when you listen and follow, and time after time you discover you’ve made the wrong decision?” She leaned back against the machine again, wrapping her arms around her waist, this time as more of a protective shield than an offensive tactic. “What are you supposed to trust then, Tucker? How do you separate your instinct from your heart?”

  He stood, unable to sit there and watch the pain etched on her features and hear the confusion vibrating in her voice.

  She held out a hand, stopping him from coming closer. “Answer me.”

  He stilled, curling his fingers into tight fists against the need to pull her into an embrace and promise her everything would be okay. But he couldn’t make that promise. Her problem was serious and one she had to resolve herself. There was no solution, simple or otherwise, he could offer her. He’d never felt so completely helpless. “I don’t have the answer.” The admission was difficult. He felt as if he was letting her down when she needed him most. What in hell was he supposed to do?

  “Then I guess you’re going to have to let me find them on my own,” she said softly, clearly never expecting it to be otherwise.

  “I hate this, Lainey. You’re hurt and confused, and it’s the very last way I want you to feel around me. I wish it were as simple as saying trust
yourself one more time. I wish it were as simple as saying trust me to know that this time it will be okay. But then none of this has been simple, and there are no guarantees.”

  “Did you ever stop to think you only have feelings for me because I’m the first woman under the age of seventy you’ve laid eyes on since your big life-changing decision?”

  “Not once.”

  “See? I will never understand that. I question everything. Or at least I’m trying to. I don’t always know the right questions to ask myself, but I’m learning.”

  “Why, Lainey? Why are you trying so hard to be something you’re not?” He stepped closer. “Are you really so miserable? Have the mistakes so outweighed the positive choices?”

  “Yes.” There was no hesitation in her answer, and the pain shadowing her eyes put to rest any lingering doubts he might have had.

  What did a man say to that? “Do you have any idea what it is costing me to stand here and watch you in pain and not do something about it?” he said roughly.

  Her arms tightened further around her waist and her eyes seemed bigger and more vulnerable than ever. Her voice was a shaky whisper. “Do you have any idea what it is costing me not to say the hell with it and take whatever you have to offer and hope I’ll survive another rash decision after you’re gone?”

  His control snapped. He closed the remaining distance and took hold of her elbows, tugging her arms away from her body, then closing that space as well. She stood rigidly, staring at the center of his chest. “Look at me,” he commanded softly. Slowly she raised her head, tilting it back until he could see her teary eyes. His throat tightened and his gut felt like a knot of burning fire. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

  “Maybe that’s what scares me the most.”

  “What? I won’t ask you to leave here, Lainey, or to leave Minerva. I don’t have to go back to Seattle.”

  “That’s not …” She stopped and took a second. “If we start this and it doesn’t … go anywhere, if I can’t make it work right and you—”

  “Hey, who said it was all up to you to make this relationship work?”

  “I’m the one who hasn’t been able to pull one off before, so it stands to reason I’ll be the one to somehow screw this up. But you won’t give up … or maybe that’s what I couldn’t stand … that you would give up, that at some point you’d decide this was really a whim and I’m not what you wanted. I couldn’t stand that. Not this time. Not with you.”

  He cupped her cheek with his hand, his heart beating faster at her soft gasp of response to his touch. “Did it ever occur to you that you wouldn’t be so scared if your feelings for me weren’t so strong? That being scared is actually a pretty good indication of how important pursuing this is?” He wove his fingers into her hair and tilted her head back. “Lainey, how can you walk away? Of all the things in the world, isn’t this exactly the sort of risk that’s worth taking?”

  “Risk,” she said shakily. “There’s that word again.”

  “There are no sure bets.” His patience eroded down to its last thread. “We could fall madly in love and I could walk out the door one morning and get hit by a truck. Do we not go for what we can have because of the fear that it might get taken away? What kind of life is that?”

  “A safe one.”

  “Is that what you really want?” He leaned closer. “Safety? Guaranteed successes only?” His mouth hovered above hers. “Say yes and you’re a liar, Lainey Cooper. Everything about you, everything that makes you the woman you are, has to be in there screaming no. You act on emotion, not cool logic, because your emotions aren’t cool and logical, they’re passionate and impulsive and are mainlined straight from your heart. They’re the dominant part of who you are, and I think it’s a damn shame that you want to strangle them into submission. I don’t want a tame, methodical, controlled Lainey Cooper. I want you.” He gripped her more tightly. “I want passionate, excited, rash Lainey Cooper. The one who thinks with her heart first.”

  He didn’t give her time to react. Letting her think hadn’t done either of them any good up to this point. Maybe he should keep her thinking with her heart, until she couldn’t listen to anything else.

  TEN

  Lainey barely had time to register his heated words before his even hotter mouth was on hers. Yes, oh, yes, her inner voice cried, with the rest of her body united solidly behind it. There was nothing soft or gentle in this kiss. This wasn’t a kiss at all, it was a claiming. And, oh, was he convincing.

  He didn’t wait for permission, nor as it turned out, did he need to. He kissed her deeply, moving his lips over hers, sliding his tongue into her mouth, tantalizing her, tasting her until she thought she’d go mad if she couldn’t reciprocate. He gave up nothing and demanded everything until she was gripping his arms to keep from slithering to the floor, reduced to a puddle of need and desire. And even then, wringing soft moans from her with the lightest touch, his relentless pursuit continued. He pulled her closer, wrapped his arms around her, and leaned his weight more fully against her.

  She pulled in huge gulps of air when he broke the kiss, leaving her lips softly swollen, her mouth still wet and filled with the taste of him, but never once did she think to tell him to stop. The only sounds she was capable of were soft moans and whimpers as he sampled her chin, ran his tongue along the side of her neck, nibbled her earlobe, and whispered hot words in her ear.

  “Passionate, impulsive, rash,” he murmured, his voice raw and raspy, like every nerve ending in her body. “That’s how you make me feel, Lainey.” He moved back to her mouth and kissed her hard, then pulled her lower lip into his mouth and suckled on it. She quivered against him, and he grunted his approval into her mouth as he took it again. “Not cool,” he growled. “Not logical.” He took his time and set about claiming her mouth all over again. When they were both breathless, he pulled away and pressed his mouth to her temple, holding her tightly against him.

  “When I touch you—” She felt a shudder ripple through him and it affected her like nothing had before. His voice vibrated along her skin, accelerating the pulse that pounded hard beneath his lips. “It’s not like anything else. It’s not feeding a physical need, though Lord know I have a voracious one where you’re concerned.”

  She swallowed a moan. She didn’t want him to stop. The revelation didn’t shock her. She’d wanted Tucker since the moment she’d laid eyes on him. But what did stun her was the intensity of her need, and not for simple sexual release—though she doubted her body would ever forgive her if she screwed that part up. He was right. He wasn’t claiming only her body, he was out to claim her body, mind, and soul. This wasn’t simply hormone-driven lust. She knew what mindless sex felt like.

  This wasn’t remotely mindless. In fact, it was the total opposite. He engaged her on levels that went well beyond sizzling nerve endings and aching body parts. Every touch branded her somewhere far deeper than her skin.

  “I need you,” he said roughly. “You, Lainey. You alone. What I feel for you changes everything. Every aspect is altered, both physical and emotional; it’s profoundly unique with you. Kissing you is different. Your taste excites me because it’s sweet and hot but mostly because it’s yours and yours alone. Touching you … feeling your hands on me … it’s like an electrical current that only operates from one energy source—you. I can’t explain it.” He broke off and nuzzled her hair, then dipped down and dropped a light kiss on the side of her neck. “I can’t explain it,” he repeated hoarsely.

  “You don’t have to.” Her voice was raw, needy, but she didn’t stop to clear her throat. It was too tight, anyway. “I feel it, too, Tucker.”

  He tugged her closer still, until she could feel his heart beating against hers. “Have you … is this …” There was a pause, then she felt him take in a halting breath and release it in a warm, shuddering gust against the sensitive skin beneath her ear. “Have you felt this way before, Lainey?”

  His uncertainty touched her the
way no aggressive demand ever could have. It made her realize that he was every bit as vulnerable in this situation as she was. She wasn’t the only one risking hurt and pain. Her skin flushed more deeply, but this time with shame. She’d been so wrapped up in her past mistakes that all she’d seen was his bold confidence in daring to trust his instincts. It hadn’t occurred to her that having confidence didn’t lessen the risk or the severity of the potential pain.

  “No, I never have,” she answered him with complete honesty. “No, I’ve never felt anything like this.”

  He lifted his head, making no attempt to shield the relief in his eyes. Her reaction was instant and uncalculated. She smiled. The compelling combination of assuredness and vulnerability was irresistible. Warmth and affection and something that felt too big and dangerous to think about suffused her, and it all poured out into her smile.

  He searched her face, not smiling in return. It was that continued wariness—something she so closely identified with—that, more than anything else, began to tear down the strongest of the walls she’d so diligently tried to build around her heart.

  “Give us a chance, Lainey. We’ll take it slow and easy.”

  She laughed, feeling suddenly more lighthearted and carefree than she had in … she couldn’t remember.

  “What?” he asked sincerely.

  The heady rush of a decision made, a new path to be followed, filled her, and she impulsively wrapped her arms around his waist and tugged his hips to hers. She moaned instinctively as he pressed fully against her. “Well, that just proves my point.”

  Heat flared in his eyes, and she had to stifle another gasp of pleasure when he refused to let her loosen her grip. All wariness was gone. The confident predator had returned. “Your point being?”

  She thrilled to the low rumble of his voice, the promise that threaded through it. There was no doubt he understood her point and then some, but she humored him, anyway. “That no matter how hard we try to behave otherwise, there is nothing slow and easy about either of us.”