Surrender the Dark Read online

  “I like my last name fine. I just don’t happen to like the way you say it.”

  Honestly perplexed, she asked, “What’s wrong with the way I say McCullough?”

  “Nothing, when you say it like that.”

  “Like what?” she exclaimed. “McCullough, McCullough, McCullough. What difference does it make?”

  His smile disappeared. “Because when you say it like that, it makes me feel like your boss or your professional colleague.”

  The steam left her argument as swiftly as his smile had left his face. “And when I call you Jarrett?”

  He let go of one of her wrists and reached up to trace a finger along the crease of her lips. “When you call me Jarrett,” he said, his voice no more than a deep rumble, “it makes me feel like your friend.”

  It wasn’t until he said friend that she realized she’d expected him to say lover. Lord knows his body was screaming it. And his expression wasn’t what she’d call friendly. It was the sort of look that could drive mercury straight through the top of a thermometer.

  Friend. She felt another wall tumble around her heart. Did he have any idea how much more provocative an invitation that was?

  Her heart pounded in a hard, steadily increasing rhythm, and she swore she felt each separate second tick by as she looked him squarely in the eyes. “You are my friend,” she said, the honesty in that statement hitting her even as she spoke.

  “I don’t have many of those, Rae.”

  “Neither do I. Jarrett,” she added on a whisper.

  TEN

  Jarrett skated his fingers across her cheeks and into her hair, cupping the back of her head, pulling her to him.

  His kiss wasn’t gentle, but it was slow, and incredibly thorough. His tongue took swift possession of hers and then coaxed it back into his mouth. When she boldly pressed past his teeth, he groaned and pulled her tongue deeper.

  Rae’s answering moan came from deep in her throat, and she instinctively pushed her hips closer to his. His hand dropped to the small of her back and pressed hard.

  She moved against him, remembering his wound just in time to keep from lifting her knee up to his thigh. The deprivation of the contact she so desperately needed drove her higher, intensified her desire for touch and taste.

  Her hands explored his chest, then she slid them up to his shoulders, threading one arm under his head while letting her other hand run down over his biceps and forearm.

  He broke away from her mouth and dragged his lips and tongue over her chin and down her neck. He pressed her onto her back, neatly capturing her roaming hand over her head, pinning her. His eyes were a haze of smoke and desire as he stared at her. She struggled to keep from bucking her hips up off the bed in search of the sweet pressure of his body.

  “Jarrett.” She didn’t care that she pleaded.

  The flash of his teeth as he smiled stunned her with an unexpected blaze of hot sensuality.

  “You can have anything you want when you say it like that,” he promised. He let go of her hand, freeing his to explore at will. His will.

  He got no argument from Rae.

  Carefully, holding her gaze, he drew his hand down the center of her body, then slowly up again. His fingertips brushed her skin, circling one breast and then the other. Rae didn’t have to look to know her nipples were pressing tautly against her shirt. He continued his maddening teasing until she almost screamed at him to touch her. But when every inch of her breasts had felt his touch, he let his hand drift away.

  He flattened his palm on her stomach, then lowered his face to hers.

  “I’m going to touch you,” he said roughly, then kissed her hard and fast until she squirmed under his hand.

  “Yes,” she said on a gasp when he released her mouth.

  “I mean really touch you, Rae.” He let his fingers dip under the hem of her sweatshirt. “And then I’m going to taste you. All of you.”

  Rae was so close to the edge, even the prospect of uncovering her scars didn’t daunt her. “I want you too,” she whispered. “Badly.”

  His hand inched upward and she began to tremble. Then his fingers encountered the first ridge of scar tissue, and for a second his features clouded, desire replaced by surprise.

  Rae instantly slammed her hand down, pinning her shirt to her chest. “Don’t.”

  He jerked his gaze from his shirt-covered fingers to her face. “I’m sorry, Rae. I didn’t mean to stop.” Heat filled his eyes again, along with the glittering determination she knew would be next to impossible to deter. “I don’t want to stop.”

  “I’m not sure I can let you go on,” she said.

  “I didn’t realize—” He broke off, and for the first time Rae could recall, he seemed at a loss for words.

  “I told you they weren’t pretty.”

  He looked at her steadily. “I didn’t expect them to be.” He massaged the skin beneath his fingers, still splayed over her rib cage. “I don’t want this between us any longer, Rae. And there’s only one way to get past it.”

  Without giving her time to think, he slid down and lowered his head to her stomach. He pressed a hot kiss to the exposed strip of skin below her belly button. Then he started his way up.

  He kissed, licked, and nipped at the taut skin above her navel. Rae began to writhe under him, petrified about what would happen in the next couple of seconds but unable to stop the pulsating need she had for him to continue. She was hot and damp and her heart pounded in fear and desire.

  She knew the second his lips hit the first scar. He paused for the tiniest of seconds, then slowly dragged his tongue along the four-inch strip of pink shiny skin.

  She shivered at the odd sensation. She had no nerve endings on the scars themselves, but the skin just around them was hypersensitive. As he began on the matching scar running diagonally along her opposite rib, she twitched uncontrollably under him.

  He’d steadily pushed her shirt higher and higher, never lifting his mouth from her skin. Her hand had long ago cupped his head, her fingers tangled in his still-damp hair. She writhed and moaned, no longer caring what he saw as long as his mouth reached the tips of her breasts … soon.

  When he got to the edge of her bra, though, he stopped. After a long moment, he pressed his face into the shallow valley of her rib cage and took several deep breaths. It took her a moment or two, because her own breathing was deep and erratic, to realize he was trembling. Shaking actually.

  She froze, then tugged at his hair while lifting her own head. The sight of his dark hair and rough-skinned hands against her pale, far-from-perfect skin rocked her so hard, she gasped. That brought his head up, his blazing eyes firing into hers.

  The emotion she read there was so passionate, so furious, she couldn’t begin to decipher it.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, wondering now if she’d accidentally hit him on the thigh or banged into his ribs. “Are you hurt?”

  “Yeah.” The word was a raw epithet. Then the fury in his eyes evaporated, leaving behind a void of desolation. He pushed up on his elbow and dropped his gaze to her exposed stomach and rib cage, placing his hand almost reverently in the center. She felt the fine tremors that still raced through him, all the way to his fingertips.

  He traced each of the eight weltlike scars that underscored each of her ribs. “Who in the name of God would do something like this?” he asked on a tortured whisper.

  Rae flinched, but didn’t attempt to hide herself. Strangely, that was the last thing she’d have tolerated right now. “People do some pretty inhuman things in the name of their God. You of all people should know that.”

  He looked at her again. “I do. But this is different. I didn’t know.”

  Rae felt removed from this scene, as if she were standing outside her body, discussing something that was no longer attached to her. “You didn’t want to know.”

  That punch hit him square on target. He visibly flinched and paled. Rae almost regretted her words, but they were the truth. His
reaction proved it if there had ever been any doubt.

  “I want to know now,” he said, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.

  Now she flinched. “I won’t relive it, Jarrett. Not even for you. It took more—”

  “Guts,” he said. “And strength. Damn if you aren’t the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He nodded when she shook her head. “Yes, Rae. And I don’t mean just because you survived what happened two years ago. What you did just now, with me, took courage. Real courage. Especially considering our past …” He stopped, dropping his head, visibly swallowing hard. With his gaze focused downward, he said, “I don’t want you to relive any of this. I want to understand your strength, to know how you came through such a thing, but I think you just showed me. You’ve been doing that all along.” He took a deep breath. “Whatever happens, I want you to know one thing.” He raised his gaze to hers. “At no time in my life have I ever wanted or cared for another person as much as I want and care for you.”

  Tears filled her eyes at his solemn, sincere proclamation. It was more than she’d ever thought to get from him, and certainly more than she felt she deserved.

  “Dammit, don’t cry,” he whispered, the pain on his face clear and agonizing.

  “Come here,” she said on a sob-choked breath. “Please.”

  He slid up and pulled her tightly into his arms, rocking her against him, pressing her face to his chest and burying his face in her hair. “I’m here for you, Rae. I know I haven’t been before, and I may not be again, but I am now.”

  She sniffled and pulled her head back, looking up at him. “That’s not enough,” she said. “But it will have to be.”

  “No!” he said sharply. “Don’t you dare settle, Rae. Dear God, the last thing you should ever have to do is settle. If you don’t want me—”

  She silenced him with a kiss. It was hard and deep and instantly consuming. She grabbed his hand and placed it over one breast, rubbing the tight peak against his palm. She broke off on a gasp and said, “The only thing I’m settling for is time.” She kissed him again, more softly. He groaned, and his hand began a slow, sweet massage. “I don’t think I’ll ever have enough, but I will take what I can get.”

  This time Jarrett kissed her. He claimed her mouth just as she had claimed his. And he took his time about it, easing away from her so he could explore the rest of her body more fully.

  Fair was fair, and Rae did some exploring of her own.

  “Take off your shirt and your bra. I want the rest of you.” He nudged her nipple with his thumb. “And so do you.”

  She immediately reached for the hem of her shirt, with no qualms this time. They were past that now. There were more scars, on her back, on her breasts, but she knew Jarrett would deal with them as the time came. And so would she.

  “Take off your sweats,” she ordered as she tugged her shirt over her head. “I want to see the rest of you too.”

  His head jerked up, breaking his intense concentration of her emerging flesh. His look of surprise quickly faded into another one of his slow smiles.

  “Damn you’re getting awfully good at that,” she whispered.

  His eyes glittered. “I’ll trade you.” He glanced down, unabashedly drawing her attention to the strained fabric of his sweats. “I might need some help with mine.”

  She snorted. “I’ll just bet you do.”

  He reached out and tugged the string of her sweats. “I was shot just a couple of days ago, you know,” he said. His first attempt at gaining pity was woefully inadequate.

  “Yeah, and I can see where it’s really slowed you down.”

  In answer he scooted down the bed and tugged her sweats down with him, revealing plain white bikini underwear. He looked up at her as he pulled the elastic band away from her skin with his teeth.

  Rae had raised up on her elbows, unable to keep from watching him touch her when his tongue began doing the most amazing things to simple white cotton. Her head dropped back on a long heartfelt groan as he slid her underwear off completely.

  “Lord, I want you,” he growled.

  She lifted her head again, somehow finding the strength. She needed to see his face, needed to see him when he spoke to her like that. He’d pushed up to a sitting position, bracing his weight on one arm. And he was just staring at her. All of her.

  “Take off the bra,” he directed roughly.

  She did.

  Pain and anger warred with the raging desire in his eyes when he saw the scars. It spoke volumes about their understanding of each other that she felt the need to comfort him. “It’s okay,” she whispered.

  “No,” he answered solemnly as his gaze roved over her entire body. “It’s the least okay thing I’ve ever seen.” He lifted his gaze to hers, and she felt every muscle she had tighten. Possession. That’s what she saw. Fierce, primal, politically incorrect, no-holds-barred possession. “And if anyone else ever lays so much as a finger against any part of you ever again, I will kill them with my bare hands.”

  She started shaking. She wanted him, wanted his possession, his protection, even though she knew she shouldn’t. She’d fought too hard to gain total control of her life. Yet she’d never wanted something so badly in her entire life. Even more, she felt just as fiercely possessive about him.

  “The only fingers I want on me are yours.” She found the strength to smile. “And a few other more interesting body parts as well.”

  It took a long moment, but the wild light faded from his eyes, replaced with a hot silver one. “You are without a doubt the damnedest woman I’ve ever met.” He pulled himself up and scooped her against his chest, rolling to his back before she could so much as gasp. She barely had time to raise her knees to straddle him so as not to whack his thigh.

  He scarcely gave her time to catch a breath before he pulled her head down and kissed her. When he finally let her go, he dropped his hands to her waist. They both moved their hips at the same time, their groans long and loud.

  “If you want those other parts,” he said hoarsely, “you can have them anytime you want. But if you want them inside you, you’d better move fast.”

  Rae was way beyond the point of needing to be asked. She reached between her legs and tugged his sweats down far enough to free him, then immediately took him in her hand.

  He groaned and lifted his hips. “Dear Lord, there is a heaven.”

  Rae got sidetracked by the wondrous feel of him sliding in her hands. The softest skin covered the most amazing hardness. Jarrett was moving under her, his hips undulating, and she somehow managed to drag her gaze upward. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his mouth parted in the sort of ecstasy that made her press her knees more tightly against his hips.

  He lifted his head, his eyes clouded with sensuality. They drilled her as he gripped her hips with his broad hands and lifted her. She guided him in as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and they both gasped and held their breath as he slowly sank into her.

  Rae couldn’t control or contain the emotions and sensations rocketing through her. She didn’t even try. She fell forward and Jarrett caught her shoulders, gently lowering her until he could lift his head and take her mouth.

  His hands slid back to her waist, and he rocked her against him, just as he plunged his tongue in her mouth. He lifted his hips, moving her faster, then bent his good leg to push her even higher.

  They broke the kiss, their eyes locked, both panting as he thrust even deeper and she rode him even harder.

  The tension built inside her, it grew and grew, need coiling tighter and tighter until she knew she’d fly apart when it hit. She held it off, sitting up, throwing her head back on a low groan as he slid even deeper.

  “Rae.”

  His voice focused her. She looked down at him, their eyes locking instantly. He grabbed her hips and pressed her down hard, then trembled to a stop. A breath-stealing moment later, he jerked upward and held himself there while his release shuddered through her. The ins
tant he relaxed she let herself shatter and fall, certain it would be okay. “Jarrett,” she cried as she convulsed around him. He’d catch her.

  And he did.

  Still trembling, Jarrett gathered Rae close. She curled down onto his chest, her arms cradling his head, her knees tucked close to his sides. His body was totally spent, his emotions in complete chaos. He wanted—needed—to sort them all out, yet couldn’t seem to get a hold on any one thought.

  But he knew one thing with a clarity that required no analysis.

  He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently tugged her head up. When she looked at him, he said, “I don’t want you to go away.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she assured him, snuggling closer. “Wild wolves couldn’t drag me away right now.” He must have flinched, because she pulled up and looked at him with concern.

  “Are you okay? I’m hurting your ribs, aren’t I?” Her eyes widened. “Or did I hit your leg?” She started to slide off him, but he grabbed her back to him, none too gently either. His instincts didn’t run to gentle and soothing, but Rae didn’t seem to mind. In fact, unless he counted that soft look she got in her eyes whenever she thought he was hurt, she wasn’t all that gentle herself.

  “Jarrett!” she said in surprise, but he noticed she relaxed against him.

  God how he liked that.

  “I’m fine,” he said in answer to her concern.

  She shot him a warning look.

  “Honey, I don’t care if I’m crippled for life,” he said, as serious as he was honest. “But you’re not leaving me or this bed until it’s absolutely necessary.”

  She froze, and her eyes widened with what might have been guilt. Groaning, she pressed her face into his neck. “It’s absolutely necessary,” she mumbled against his damp skin. “Unless of course you kill me first.”

  Totally confused by her reaction, he pulled her up. “What are you talking about?”

  “The modem transmission from Zach. It came through.”

  “When?”